Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to Keep...

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to Keep, God bless...

So begins the first prayer that I learned when I was a little boy. Maybe 2 or 3 years of age. I learned this prayer from my grandmother... the prayer had a rhythm like an Ojibwe drum. Say the whole thing to yourself and you will see... it plays on your lips like a song... Some things just have life within them. You'll know them when you come upon, like a laughing brook or the whoosh in the trees when the wind blows. I... and you... we love those things because we are connected to them.  My Grandmother was a Augustana Luthern Swedish immigrant who married a Fond du Lac Ojibwe of the the Lake Superior Chippewa tribe. My Grandfather was born in 1872. He was a tall, handsome, hardworking man who married Katie late in her life. She was in her late 40's and he in his early 50's so the very fact my mother was born and I came to be was kind of a miracle. 

That one phrase, that one prayer showed me the world was not about me and that it was my job to look after the blessing and benefit of others. My mother was a gentle woman and the fact that the prayer was first about her taught my my grandmothers greatest concern and love after her handsome prince. She loved my mom fiercely and wanted me to do so as well. I cannot begin to express to you how beautiful it is for a mother to lover her daughter so much so that she teacher her grandchild to first care for his mother. My mother like her father had the beautiful dark features of the Ojibwe. She was his princess... It was later that I learned that all daughters are princesses and even more, so are all little girls. From the Beginning Catherine was an Indian Princess.

You'll hear much more of my mother, but this blog isn't about her alone, it's about blessing and all mothers and children and their fathers absent and present, and wonderfully about their grandparents. It's hard not to write about my mother and my grandfather and my grandmother, because they were wonderful, magical people. They were the people from the North who lived in the coniferous sun, and smiles and hard work and canoes and magic and faith and light twinkled all about them, so I will speak of them often... But for now...

For now, I must get some rest, because you see there is a darkness in my life. I have within me a cancer and it has been growing uncontrollably for a long time and it made itself known. Slowly it became painful and I had to deal with it and you will hear more about that as well. I will try not to be self absorbed, because my cousins, the Ojibwe, have taught me that my obligation is to the people and therefor to them and to you I must be a blessing. I don't know how often I will do anything because the cancer eats at me still... though I have just endured 2 months of radiation Monday through Friday and I am a little burned and in pain.  Between that and the hormone therapy, I tire easily...   but I have this drive in me to write, it has always been there, bubbling and gurgling inside of me, bringing little bits to the surface and that is why I pick this format, it is a good format for little bits.

If you decide to journey with me, I won't disappoint you. We will talk about Southern Turkey in the 1960's, a wild place to a 5 year old boy. As wild as the American West at the turn of the previous century.  Northern Turkey will also be on the agenda, a place of mystery and intrigue. We will talk about Germany after WWII and Italy and its wine women and song attitude of the 1970's. And the Brits and the Belgians and the Greeks and so many others. We will share about my people, the Ojibwe and the dominate culture and travels all over Europe, America and Asia... Amazing places and terrifying experiences and love and gentile hope and loss... and Heart troubles, both physical and in the mind, and of course death. Life isn't complete without all of those experiences. And it is my desire that we will talk about blessing and it's power of redemption and hope.

So, now you go to sleep sometime soon and I will too and we will rise and tomorrow, but tonight I pray... "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to Keep... God bless those who read this and God bless Mom and Dad and Grandma and Grandpa and..."

In Ojibwe we have a word for such a blessing.  Zhawendaagoz, simply... Be blessed. It’s a powerful blessing, It kind of pushes it’s good will and love right into you. You say it like this: Zha wen daa goz. All one word, like a wind it presses into your being. Zhawendaagoz. There, can you feel the smile in your heart. Now you are blessed and I can go to sleep.